Moving on Up and Out!

The view from iconic 1419



Sadly, my time at 1419 has come to a close :( For 2.5 years I have lived with my best friend/roommate who has left me for the Peace Corps and a Vanuatan beach. I am completely thrilled for her and miss her immensely. I know she will have a fantastic time and come back with amazing stories and a fabulous tan! As a result, the apartment-hunting has begun for me and I have been searching high and higher for a 1-bedroom apartment that will fit both myself and my wardrobe. Through various ups and downs I have finally found a place that is both convenient and adorable. However, before I get into the quaintness that is my new apartment- I would like to share the HELLS of apartment searching on your own:

1. When there is an advertisement outside of said establishment that is 'Now Renting', it does not imply that the Leasing Office is open. Nor does it mean that the office is open as the sign indicates. The sign is lying to you if it says that the office hours are from 10-4/5 on either Saturday or Sunday. If you are like me- and patiently wait outside an establishment in an attempt to get into the leasing office, you will be disappointed. Your detective and wonder-woman-like ways to finally get into the building will be foiled when you see the sign 'Closed' on the leasing office door.

2. If a burnt-out, toked-up teenager appears to have answered the phone in a Leasing Office, I have taken it to mean that his father is somehow trying to manage an apartment complex while also holding down a normal job. This would be an honorable thing to do, however, when you neglect your duties as a Leasing Manager and allow your stupid son to tell a potential resident that "ummm . . . .like . . . . yeah . . . . i dont know . . . we may have something opening up . . . . . i dont know," I'm not sure you're suited to be in said position. I had this conversation recently with such an individual:

Me: Hi, my name is Elise and I recently inquired about a 1-bedroom apartment that you have available. I was wondering if there would be an opportunity for me to come see it today?

Toked Teen: Oh . . . hi. Yeah, umm you'll have to check with the manager.

Me: Okay. Is the manager available?

Toked Teen: Oh . . . . no, he's at work. I can have him call you back.

Me: Okay well I called last week actually and I believe I spoke to you, and you said you would have the manager call me back and he never did. So I had to call again to speak to him, and he said he would be available to show me a 1-bedroom this past weekend, however I kept calling and knocked on the leasing office door and no one answered. I was pretty disappointed.

Toked Teen: Oh, yeah . . . umm I think that one has been rented.

Me: Well do you have any other 1-bedrooms becoming available?

Toked Teen: Ummm yeah . . . I think so . . . hold on. (shuffle, shuffle, shuffle) Yeah, um we have some becoming available at the end of the month.

Me: Oh, so you mean in like 3 days? (in my head I am thinking 'What a dumbshit!')

Toked Teen: Ummm yeah.

Me: Okay well do you know the price points on those?

Toked Teen: No, umm I mean, you'll have to talk to the manager.

Me: Okay, well LAST time you said the manager would call me back, he never did, so you're saying it might be better for ME to call him back, correct?

Toked Teen: Oh umm yeah.

Me: Okay fine. (I hang up)

WTF people?!?! Are you serious?! Are you actually allowing your children to answer your business calls who contain as much professionalism as a mouse?! Ugh, I was so peeved that I never called back.

3. Have you seen the show Hoarders on A&E? One leasing manager apparently thought it appropriate to show me a potential apartment that looked like a mini-version of the houses you see on that show. There was shit EVERYWHERE. No joke. In the bathtub, the sink, the cupboards. And it smelled like mothballs. GROSS. I had to keep myself from gagging. I was tip-toeing over everything and trying to see the nonexistent floorplan somewhere beneath the surface. But alas, it was basically impossible. In her attempt to show me the 'floorplan' she had exposed me to one of the nastiest rooms I had ever been in. Why would she even THINK it was okay to show me this?! Who would want to live in such a despicable place?! NO THANK YOU.

Nevertheless, I found an amazing place just north of downtown (5 minute walk to work . . Wheee!) and about a 5 second hop, skip, and jump away from the boyfriend :) We can each stand on our own balconies and wave at each other from across the street. Its perf! Aside from the fact that it is lacking in Elise closet space and I may turn into Carrie Bradshaw by putting my shoes in my kitchen cabinets . . . . Oh well!

Here's to the move!